How to Find the Right Therapist for You

Struggling to find a therapist who's right for you? Here are expert tips on using insurance for therapy, who to ask for referrals, searching online for a therapist, and free consultations for therapy.

Get clear on your insurance situation and whether or not you’d like to use insurance.

If you have insurance, contact your plan administrator to get details on coverages. You may have to use specific therapists for in-network benefits, and your plan may or may not have out-of-network coverage. Ask about deductibles, coinsurance, and copays, and if you don’t understand what those words mean, have them explain it to you. It’s their job to make sure you understand!

Once you understand your insurance situation, you can decide how important it is for you to use insurance. If, for example, you’re not even close to being on track to meeting a deductible that stands in the way of your plan paying for services, you could be significantly limiting your options of therapists for no good reason. Don’t let the fact you have a certain kind of insurance stop you from seeing a therapist!

Ask for referrals from people you know and trust, and consider going in the following order:

If you have a friend who works in healthcare, especially if they’re a therapist, while they won’t ethically be able to become your therapist, they will almost always be one of your best resources for helping you find a great therapist. And remember, even healthcare providers have therapists, so if there’s anyone you can feel comfortable telling you need help, it should be other people who work in healthcare.

So you should definitely ask your doctors, dentists, nurses, chiropractors, physical therapists, occupational therapists, massage therapists, acupuncturists, etc.

Next, reach out directly to a few of your other friends, family members, or trusted coworkers (not with a Facebook status update, but with a direct email, text message, phone call, or even better in-person conversation). If they offer you a self-help book instead of a therapist referral, thank them but DO NOT - I REPEAT, DO NOT LET YOUR FRIEND WHO DOES NOT WORK IN HEALTHCARE CONVINCE YOU THAT YOU CAN JUST READ A BOOK TO FIX YOUR PSYCHOLOGICAL HEALTH! Keep asking other friends!

Next, hop on websites like PsychologyToday.com and TherapyDen.com where you can used advanced search functions to specify that you’re looking for a therapist who specializes in treating certain conditions, working with certain populations, or is of a certain gender identity. Save yourself a bunch of time and headache by typing up a generic introduction email to send to several therapists that interest you on that website. Try something short and sweet like “I’m a 37-year-old man experiencing anxiety. Are you taking new clients at this time?” And send that message to SEVERAL therapists that interest you.

Next, Google the name of your city and mental health counseling agency without quotes and check out the websites of counseling agencies in your area. These are great because you can call one office and ask them to help match you to one of their therapists based on what you tell them about yourself.

Next, if a therapist tells you they’re full or that they don’t think the two of you would be a good fit, ask for referrals, and then call or email them immediately. Don’t sit on referrals because you’ll lose motivation to get around to the search again.

If a therapist offers a free consultation and you think you MIGHT be a good fit (even if you’re kind of doubtful), TAKE THE FREE CONSULTATION! Good therapists WANT to help you find a good fit, even if it’s not us, and sometimes meeting with a wrong fit or even two or three wrong fits can help clients recognize when they find a good fit!

I know that finding a good-fit therapist can be challenging. I’ve been there! But I also believe that following the advice in this post is a solid approach to getting an excellent therapist! So give this video a rewind, take notes, and then get started today. Remember who or what matters to you enough that it’s worth taking care of yourself.